We all justify in life. Thoughts and words, action and in-action, habits, lifestyles, choices and indecisiveness. We justify as a way to make ourselves feel better. I had been justifying a lot in my life. For example, I didn’t work out in the morning because I wasn’t a morning person. Or how about, my kids are little so I need to devote all my time to them. Or my all time favorite, I don’t have time to meal prep/work out/clean/etc.
I justified all these falsehoods because it was easy. Easier than challenging myself to change, easier than doing the work, easier than altering my lifestyle, easier than disrupting the status quo. There are, of course, a lot of other things I justified too as a means to stay in the so called ‘season’ of life. The new mom of two, full time worker who was ‘happy fat’ in her marriage and couldn’t be bothered with anything other than keeping her kids alive, her job stable and her marriage intact.
Here’s the thing though, all of this justifying had just allowed me to become an overweight, exhausted, barely surviving person. So I made a decision. A decision not only to stop justifying, but to set a goal, meet my goal and be an example to my kids. Also to prove my husband wrong! (I will wake up at 5am!!!) I didn’t want to be the fat mom who couldn’t keep up with her kids, or the wife who let herself go. I didn’t want to look back in ten years and realize I’d lost myself somewhere along the way and have no clue where to find her. I decided, for myself and for my family, that I needed to get my shit together and stop justifying lazy, unproductive behavior.
Once I got into a good routine with my Beachbody workouts and had my eating habits under control, I was super dialed in. While it was still challenging as hell most days, I was focused and I knew what I was working towards, and I did it through discipline.
- I started asking myself, ‘does this get me closer to my goal’? If the answer was no, then I knew I needed to do something different.
- I no longer allowed ‘just a bite’ of something I shouldn’t be eating because I knew I wouldn’t stop at one bite.
- I started making meaningful lists and holding myself accountable to crossing things off within a timeline.
- I became disciplined in my weekend meal prep so that I didn’t have any option but to eat the food I had on hand and not go out.
- I became disciplined in my nightly routine….dinner, play, bath, kids to bed, clean up kitchen, 20 min decompress…BED. Thankfully my husband values evening family time so the majority of my evening tasks were done together…even the cleaning!
The thing is, as I stopped justifying my non-productive behavior, it became easier to make the right choices. My body started to feel better, my head was more clear. I regained my confidence and felt like I had a newfound sense of control. I had been justifying my previous existence for so long I felt out of control and overwhelmed, which is why I think it took so long for me to finally make a change.
Do yourself a favor. Stop with the justifying and start with the questioning. What is my goal? Why does this goal matter to me? What do I need to do to achieve this goal? Who will help me reach my goal? How will I celebrate my success along the way? Will my current actions help me reach my goal.
Dial it in and you will find the justifying vanishes when you are focused.